is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
