I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
