yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
