Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
