Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
