Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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