im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
