He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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