i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
