I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
