yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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