you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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