Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
