i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
