i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
