I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
