i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
