So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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