tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
