Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
