Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
