You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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