Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
