You made me cry and you don't even care
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
