State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
