Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's blow job season.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
