I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
