So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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