i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
