I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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