When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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