I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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