While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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