How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
