part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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