I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
