just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
