I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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