It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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