i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
