Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
