Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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