I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
