A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
wow bdsm is so cute
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
