Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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