She said her name was "party"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
