I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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