He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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