come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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