Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
