He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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