ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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