im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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